You might have noticed a ton of posts last Thursday and Friday. I probably should have posted beforehand to let you know what that was all about. I was at the Catalyst conference in Atlanta and took notes here on my blog. I missed the beginning of Andy Crouch’s talk, so those might be a bit anemic, and we had to skip out on the last session of the conference (plane to catch and all), so those are missing as well.

Of course, since these are speaker notes, they don’t necessarily reflect my personal opinions. I tried to be fairly comprehensive, so there wasn’t much filter between the speaker said and what I wrote. In fact, you’ll notice that many of them are written in the first person. “I” in that context refers to the speaker, not me.

I’m not sure I can put into words how powerful the conference was. We got the opportunity to hear some amazing speakers, not only from the Church world but business and thought leaders as well.

The best session of the conference by far was when Craig Groeschel spoke on IT. “What is IT?” you ask. Well, IT is something like what many people refer to the X-factor. IT is that special something from God that is partially the Holy Spirit but is something else as well. IT is passion, fire, and drive. IT is being broken for the things that break the heart of God. As Craig put it, have you ever met someone and said to yourself, “She gets IT. He gets IT.” Have you ever gone to a church and come away telling yourself, “They have IT” or have you ever come away saying “They don’t have IT.”

IT is hard to put into words, but IT is very real. And just like IT, I’m having trouble putting into words how powerful this session was. The Holy Spirit was moving and convicting. There are a lot of us who had IT and lost it, who are just going through the motions, trying to make up for what we lost.

Craig talked about his experience with having “It,” losing it, and getting it back. His prayer was God, ruin me. God, I want it back. I will do whatever it takes, and I want You to do whatever it takes as well.

At the end of his talk, Craig prayed, and he challenged the people in the audience (mostly church and ministry pastors/leaders). He challenged those who didn’t have IT to stand so he would pray for them, and he made it very explicit that they needed to stand, that they needed to give up pride and recognize their own shortcomings.

I didn’t stand up. I was processing, trying to figure things out. It was an altar call of sorts, and I don’t want to be one of those people who just runs down front every time someone gives an altar call. I don’t want to be constantly rededicating my life to Christ or turning over a new leaf. Too often these become fake markers where we have a “turning point” that doesn’t really change anything.

I realized that I’m not sure I’ve ever had IT, and I feel like I’ve been faking it for a long time. Not that I stopped believing in Jesus or anything like that but that I have been acting on my own strength and power instead of on the power of Christ, instead of on the power of the Holy Spirit. But no longer, I want IT. I want it so badly I can taste it. I want it so badly that I will do whatever it takes to get it.

Half-way through his prayer I stood up, and I can tell you that my life will never be the same again. There will probably still be periods of spiritual drought in my life, but I have a fire inside, a burning desire to advance the Kingdom of God. And I will never be able to do that as effectively on my own as I will being filled with the power of the Spirit.

I haven’t read it yet (although I certainly plan to), but Craig has a book called “it,” and if the book is half as good as the talk he gave at Catalyst, I can strongly recommend it.

A few weeks ago I finished reading Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus with a group of guys from my church. The premise of the book is that we need to seize our divine moments, to grab hold of the opportunities that God puts in our path and to make opportunities when they are not readily apparent. The primary illustration in the book comes from 1 Samuel 14. In this chapter Samuel explains how Jonathan, the son of the king of Israel, and his armor bearer climbed up a cliff (or mountain, hill, etc.) to reach a Philistine army outpost. Jonathan and his armor bearer killed twenty Philistines and started a chain of events in which the Israelite army routed the Philistines.

What makes this story so interesting are the circumstances under which Jonathan decided to act. So often we want God to speak in a booming voice, giving us explicit instructions about what we are supposed to do next, but God doesn’t always work that way. In 1 Samuel 14:6, Jonathan says to his armor bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the LORD will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the LORD from saving, whether by many or by few.” He didn’t have an assurance from God that everything would be okay. God didn’t give him a 10 point battle plan. Jonathan did what he believed was right, and God honored his faith and his action.

We see a similar story in Judges 6 and 7. God told Gideon that Gideon would save Israel from the Midianites, and so Gideon went to fight the Midianites with an army of 32,000 men. But God said that Gideon had too many and sent 22,000 of them home. God said that there were still too many and left Gideon with a mere 300 men…

…and no plan.

While had God very clearly told Gideon that he would conquer the Midianites, God didn’t spell it out. He simply told Gideon to go fight and then took away 99% his fighting force. Gideon had only 300 men left, and we have no record of God telling him how to defeat the Midianites with such a small complement. Gideon had to forge ahead into battle, trusting that God would fulfill his word. While the Israelite army surrounded the Midianite camp and blew trumpets and broke jars, God caused the men in the Midianite army to turn on one another, delivering the army into Gideon’s hands.

What has God told you to do? Is there something that He’s laid on your heart? Has God given you a passion for AIDS victims, for underprivileged children living in the ghetto, for the homeless, for prisoners, for victims of war, for battered women, for the fatherless? Are you waiting for God to tell you exactly what to do next before doing anything at all? Have you been sitting on this passion for years without taking any action? Perhaps God isn’t going to tell you what the next step is. He might not spell it all out for you.

Even if you don’t feel like there’s any one particular thing that God wants from you, there are plenty of things that He has already told us to do: feed the hungry, care for the sick, visit the imprisoned, care for widows and orphans, preach the Gospel. I don’t think God is going to get mad at us for doing the things that He has already commanded. If you start a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen or a prison ministry that changes the lives of many, I have a hard time picturing God coming down on your head because you missed His “true calling” for your life.

Perhaps the opportunities that you need to seize are not (on the surface, anyway) so lofty as these. If God has given you a passion for art or music or writing or whatever else, don’t let that passion go to waste. Glorify God by being a good steward of the skills and talents he has given you, don’t simply let them rot away in the ground.

Chasing daylight is risky. You run the risk of failure. We’re not going to succeed (by our definition of the term anyway) every time we step out in faith. Even when God specifically asks something of us, there’s no guarantee that we will achieve our goals. God may have other plans for our work. Perhaps your undertaking will serve only to teach you a lesson that God wants you to learn. Perhaps God wanted you to do it for the benefit of one person, and in this life you may never know what a success your “failure” was in God’s economy.

Perhaps one of the greatest examples of a “failure” is the ministry of Jim Elliot. Jim Elliot, along with several others, was a missionary to a tribe in Ecuador that had previously had very little contact with the outside world. Jim and several of the men with him were killed by members of the tribe, and if you stop the story there, it seems as if Jim’s life was wasted. But the fact is, the story does not end there. Jim’s wife and daughter later went back to work with that same tribe and led many of them to a relationship with Jesus. Jim Elliot looked like a failure, but he died chasing daylight. And his work laid the foundation for Elisabeth and Valerie Elliot to carry out the dream that God had placed in him.

In fact, the redemption of mankind looked to be a failure when Jesus was crucified. The hope of all the world was dead. Because we know the end of the story we easily forget the desperate situation that the disciples faced when Jesus died. They couldn’t just read ahead three paragraphs to find out that everything turned out all right. The very Son of God seemed to have failed, but three days later, Jesus rose from the grave, having conquered sin and death.

I don’t have enough minutes left in my life to let them go to waste. Many of you know that God called me into ministry years ago when I was in high school, and you may also know that when I graduated from college I didn’t have many opportunities to fulfill that calling. But on Good Friday of this year, God renewed that call on my life. After months of trying to figure out how what to do next, I was presented with the opportunity to do a one-year internship program at my church. It was a hard decision. God didn’t come down and tell me to take it, and as excited as I am about the program now, initially there was part of me that really didn’t want it.

This will be my fifth internship in a church or ministry, and I had to swallow a lot of pride to become an intern again. At a point when I likely would have been advancing to a mid-level position I made a decision to go back to the bottom. However, I believe that pride is one of the reasons that God put me on a three year detour after college. He has been teaching me the hard lesson of humility. It doesn’t matter if I’m in charge or at the bottom of the ladder. It doesn’t matter if my name is in lights or no one ever knows who I am. What is important is that God is glorified and that the work of His kingdom is done.

Those of you who are reading this and who aren’t followers of Jesus may think that all of this is a crock of crap. In fact, I would bet that you’ve already stopped reading, but perhaps there is something you can take from all of this as well. I can only imagine that most of you, if not all of you, want more out of life. If you’re like me you are tempted at times to just sit back and watch the world go by, to come home from work, flip on the boob tube, and waste the night away, but isn’t there more than that? Help a child learn to read. Clean up a state park. Serve the families of soldiers who are serving overseas. I believe that total fulfillment can only be found in Christ, but you can experience the joy that comes from serving others. I think that we all know that there’s more to life than our simple lives behind our white picket fences.

So in other words, chase daylight. Seize your divine moments. Take risks. Grab opportunities. “Perhaps the LORD will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the LORD from saving, whether by many or by few.” You might not always succeed, but as Jim Elliot said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

Note: It’s late, but I really want to get this up tonight, so I’m reserving the right to edit it tomorrow.

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It’s been a while since my last post, and I had been posting so regularly too. Ah well, such is life, and a lot has happened in the interim.

Two months ago I mentioned in my first post that I studied theology in college and was actually ordained as a pastor in my home denomination (or non-denomination as the case may be). I also wrote that I regularly question my decision not to enter the ministry, but I didn’t realize quite how prophetic that was when I wrote it.

Perhaps I should begin at the beginning.

I grew up in the Church, but like many, once I reached my teenage years I wasn’t exactly focused on God. My parents weren’t going to church at the time, and I began to live my life in whatever way I chose. A funny thing happened shortly before I turned sixteen. I realized that I would no longer have an excuse to avoid church. Of course, if I’m honest, I had no excuse before that, considering that I lived virtually across the street from a church.

Anyway, I attended for a few months, keeping up a Christian facade, something not that hard to do when you know all of the “right answers.” Somehow (i.e. through the providence of God, a couple of loving youth workers, and some quality peers), I was convinced to attend a week-long youth conference after a few months. There I reconnected with Jesus in a meaningful way.

Later that summer the church intern that I was dating questioned my quest for money (read: future Harvard Law grad). She was going into the ministry and asked me something to the effect of “What could be better than saving souls?” (It always comes back to a girl, doesn’t it?) At that moment the Holy Spirit broke something inside of me. I began to weep, and I realized that my desire to become wealthy wasn’t important, that bringing people to a saving knowledge of Jesus meant far more. This is, perhaps, the most embarrassing part of the story for me. Who wants to admit that one’s entire future was shaped by an ex-girlfriend? It’s also funny to look back on the decidedly crude language. Jesus will be doing the saving. Anything I do is only through His power and grace.

Rather than applying to a bunch of Ivy League institutions, I decided to go to a local school (not something that I wanted to do) because it was a quality Christian college (also not something that I wanted). Do you notice the trend of God doing things because He has plans for me in spite of what I want or where I may be headed? Take note of that, it doesn’t stop here.

When I graduated from college, I was done with school. That only sounds tautological; it’s not really. On a very personal level, I was done. I would have neither enjoyed nor flourished at seminary. I simply couldn’t handle any more classes or tests or papers. I needed a break from that. Consequently, I began to look for some kind of job in ministry. That was, after all, what I had been called to do, but the more I looked, the more it seemed that it seemed that doors weren’t opening. Those that were open weren’t where I wanted to be or where I felt God was calling me.

I must admit that this wasn’t exactly a shining moment in my walk with Christ. I suppose every relationship ebbs and flows, but I was seriously ebbing. I was preoccupied with my fiancee and graduation, and I simply wasn’t focusing on my relationship with God, in spite of the fact that I was trying to enter the ministry. In the midst of all of this I suddenly panicked and felt the need to be ordained. Shoot, I was going to be a pastor (or at least work in a para-church organization), I needed to be official. Who wants to hire a youth pastor who hasn’t been ordained. This is, of course, another one of those exceedingly embarrassing occurrences. Instead of recognizing the gravity and seriousness of ordination, instead of praying about it and seeking God’s will, I just jumped in head first. I wonder what God thought about that one.

Right around the time of graduation my fiancee was offered a job at the National Security Council. I hadn’t had any luck with my job search, so we decided she should take it. We got married in July and moved to DC the following January. (Those pesky security clearances take far longer than The Man tells you they will.) Through a combination of my friends I had at school, classes I took, an internship I had, and once again God’s guiding hand, I developed a passion for social justice. Out of this grew an interest in politics, and considering my inability to find a job in ministry and my relocation to Washington DC, I decided to pursue a career in politics.

Things were off to a pretty good start once I got here. Within two weeks I had gotten an entry-level job in a Senator’s office, and a year later I began a foreign policy program at National Defense University’s School for National Security Executive Education. My plan was to work in foreign affairs and effect change in American foreign policy on issues such as aid and peacekeeping.

Fourteen months after I started in Senator Bill Nelson’s office I was offered a position as a legislative correspondent, a fairly low-level position but a legislative job nonetheless and a stepping stone to a more significant policy position. This was shortly after the Democrats won control of Congress in 2006, and literally half of Senator Nelson’s legislative staff was leaving. There were seemingly limitless job opportunities for Democrats. The legislative director had the daunting task of trying to fill 10 legislative slots in a job market that wasn’t friendly to employers. I was sitting in his office, and he had just offered me the job. I accepted it. I told him I wanted it. I swear I did. I guess my memory could be playing tricks on me, but I swear I had already accepted the job when he asked if I wanted a night to think it over. I’m thinking to myself, “No, I don’t want a night to think it over. I want to get out of this data entry job.” Instead, I said, “I guess so, I interviewed for a position in the House and never heard back.” I e-mailed the person I had interviewed with there, and she said not to do anything without calling her first. I called her around 2:00 PM and told her that I had just been offered a position. She got me in to see the staff director and deputy staff director later that afternoon, and by 5:00 PM they had offered me the job. I didn’t know what to do. It seemed so evident that I should take the position in my current office, but I was praying about it and knew God was telling me to take the House job. It didn’t make any sense. The House job was doing web stuff. I had done that before. I didn’t want to do it again. I had no interest in producing websites for a living. Not to mention that it didn’t fit in with my career goals at all. Being a leg staffer and working on new media have nothing in common. Transitioning that gap would be like moving from being an an artist at Hallmark to being their accountant. Other than the fact that you work at the same place, they really aren’t related. I had no idea what my next step would be if I took the job in the House.

I took it anyway. I decided to trust God and see what would happen. I’ve since realized how good it is to do that.

I’ve found that I really enjoy technology, that design and coding get me fired up. Plus, I make more money and work shorter hours than I would have in the legislative position. In fact, I realized that I didn’t want to do policy work at all. I had found a new passion. I loved web design and development. I began to pursue that career path. I made connections with the right people. I learned PHP (a computer language commonly used online). I produced one of the most popular videos to ever come out of Congress. I began volunteering on the Barack Obama campaign and hoped to eventually get a position in the White House new media operation.

That all came to a screeching halt two weeks ago. I was sitting in service on Good Friday when I felt the call again. It wasn’t exactly a voice; it was just something I knew in my spirit. God was calling me back to ministry. He is bringing me full circle.

I spent the better part of the past three years confused. I questioned why God had called me to ministry in the first place. After a while I sort-of just “forgot” that it had happened. I obviously knew that it had occurred, but it just sort of merged in to this general idea of “Do good. Make a difference with your life.” rather than a distinct call to ministry. I figured that working for social justice politically was what I was going to do. Of course, after a while, this began to slip away too. It remained, but there was an ever growing temptation to just find a job I enjoyed (or start a business) that paid well, rather than really working for something I believed in.

I don’t know exactly what the three year detour was about, but He has taught me a great deal during this time, much of it about trust and integrity. And I imagine that these lessons were at least part of His reason.

I don’t know exactly what’s next. I don’t know what God’s plans are. I don’t know if his time frame is one month or six. I do know that this call was real. He has reaffirmed it time and time again for the past two weeks through conversations with friends and co-workers, not just by encouragement they have given me but advice that is timely and questions that are pointed and could only have come from God. I’m still working in the House, but I’ve told my bosses that I’m planning to enter the ministry and won’t be there long term. I’m working to find a ministry position, but I’m also trusting that God will put me where He wants me when He wants me there and that He’ll tell me where that is when He decides it’s time. It’s not for me to worry about.

I’m excited for this new stage of my journey, and I look forward to writing more as things develop.

Yes, much like Tickle Me Elmo is a child's introduction to American consumerism, this is my introduction to the world of blogging. It's surprising that it's taken me so long to get here. considering that I work with so-called "new media"¹.

Anyway, a bit about myself. My name is Will Johnston. As of the writing of this post, I am 24. I work in new media on Capitol Hill.³ In my spare time I volunteer at my church and on political campaigns. I also enjoy spending time with my friends (especially over a cold beer), and if I'm honest, a lot of my free time goes into doing the same stuff I do at work, only at home creating my own projects, such as this one.

In college I studied theology and minored in philosophy with the intent to become a pastor. While I was actually ordained in the church I grew up in² (a type of church that has no formal requirements for ordination other than the church placing trust in the candidate) I never actually entered full time ministry. That's a decision that I still question, but it's also one that I re-evaluate fairly regularly.

It feels a bit odd to be writing that last part online, as I feel it requires explanation and is somewhat embarrassing to me. I suppose that is the beauty of the Internet. At least there's a disconnect - even if only a temporal one - between people finding something out about me and my needing to explain myself.

Considering my interests, it should come as no surprise that the posts in this blog will typically fall within one of the following categories: religion, politics, (yes, I like to start by talking about the things you're not supposed to talk about), technology, philosophy, and personal. I, like most liberal arts majors from small schools in the Midwest that like to think of themselves as the "Harvard of Christian colleges," even though that is quite an overstatement, enjoy analyzing how one's religion influences one's philosophy, how one's philosophy influences one's politics and, how one's philosophy influences one's religion. Unlike most of them, I also enjoy analyzing the use of technology in politics. All that to say, in a very long winded manner that you will grow accustomed to if you read my writing with any regularity, that many posts will actually be in more than one of these categories. Of course, there will be a healthy dose of (as in may constitute most of my content) YouTube videos and the like.

¹There's got to be a better term for this, right? I mean, I do freakin' Internet stuff. TV was new at one point, so were clay tablets. Written languages themselves were a new form of media long ago. If some other, newer media gains traction, I may or may not do anything with that. Actually, I probably won't. Let's be honest, most people get set in their ways. I'll be old and telling my grandchildren about the Internet's migration from big trucks to tubes and how e-mails to my staffers used to get lost, but I digress.

²That's a long story, but I'm digressing again, so I'll just say that basically the church I grew up in shut down and a church from the same denomination (or non-denomination as the case may be) opened in the same location a short while later.
³UPDATE: I forgot to mention the first time 'round that everything I say in this blog is my personal opinion and is neither endorsed nor supported by my employer.

UPDATE: I should note that I will occasionally update this post to reflect changes in employment, age, interests, etc.